World's First Play Impressions of Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball!

I just spent the last three hours at Tecmo playing the near-final version of Dead or Alive: Extreme Beach Volleyball.

Dead or Alive, the fighting game is dead. Long live the king -- DOA Extreme Beach Volleyball.

This game is grade 1, digital narcotic bliss. It's an absolute joyous blast of a game. Oh my God.

Let me start by saying that I find the DOA fighting games thoroughly average. Hit, counter, hit, counter, boob jiggle, counter, panty flash, hit... zzz.

But DOAX is nothing less than a surgical reinvention of the series. It's the yin to the fighting game's yang. From the moment the title screen boots up, with a rotating lush tropical island and the bouncy strains of 'How Crazy Are You?' -- you're entering a relaxed, utopian gaming. Relax, the game says. Slow down. There's no hardship in this place. There is not a frustrating, aggressive, un-fun line of code in this entire game. It has been designed from start to finish as an exercise in unadulterated, chilled out joy. I really, really dug it.

Let's deal with the hoohaa surround the game's theme first. Yes, this is largely the girls. There are lots of gratuitous, camera-controllable shots of bikini clad manga babes stretching suggestively in various environments. There's also no way to 'win' in DOAX. You just have two weeks on this island to develop friendships, win over enemies, buy stuff, swim a bit, get a tan, and play some volleyball. No two games should be played the same.

Let's rewind a bit. At the title screen, you're given the option to choose certain options (English/JP will be in all versions). The game is widescreen. You can add custom soundtracks. You can choose your age... though the effect of this hasn't been revealed.

You start off by choosing a girl. I chose Hitomi. The game then pans to Hitomi lying by the pool, doing a few stretches on a sun bed (rather suggestive poses, naturally). Interestingly enough, the game is sort of turn based. You have three 'plays' per day, and two weeks in total to play your course through the holiday island. One 'play' might be a game of volleyball. Another play might be buying items at the two stores (Sportswear/bikinis, and Accessories) and presenting them as gifts to other girls on the island. Another might be playing the pool hopping mini-game (an analogue showcase that's a total blast!). This adds a certain amount of strategy as you have a limited plays/days to gain the maximum number of costumes, or friends/play partners, or money... or whatever your chosen goal (the game doesn't set one).

I first chose to go to the shop, and picked out a nice lime green bikini for Hitomi, along with a red one -- I had it wrapped, a present for Kasumi. You see, if you gain the friendship of other girls on the island, they're more likely to be your volleyball partner. Certain girls don't like each other, so more presents are necessary. Of course, the touchiest girls also tend to be the best volleyball players, so investing in befriending them can yield monetary results later because they help you win more games, and thus buy more stuff.... which a) helps you give better gifts, and b) looks great.

During your 'night' time play, you can also choose to chance the casino with a number of different games. Blackjack, roulette, the usual suspects. The other girls will giggle and drink and play with you, and their gambling style (risk takers/timid etc) will vary according to their island personality. Lastly, you can retire to your hotel room, from which a complimentary TV allows you to watch unlocked trailers and game CG... amongst other things.

The heart of the game is, nonetheless, the volleyball game. I'm pleased to say that this, frankly, plays like digital crack. One button 'sets up' a play, in other words, dives and/or pushes up the ball high for your partner to smash (second attack button). Control is analogue, and the nuances are excellently realized -- little button feathers will fake smash and tip the ball slightly over, and a well timed button snap at precisely the right height has you smashing the ball into an opposing girl's face, sending them literally flying back into the sand. Very satisfying. The control is simple enough, yet deceptively deep. Best of all, there's an intangible rhythm and flow to the volleyball that just feels very satisfying, responsive and stylish. Couple this with the emotional element of choosing/buying different play partner, and you have a strangely compelling, strategic volleyball experience.

You actually have to pay attention to the feelings of your partner and opposing players, as how well you play affects their mood after the game and propensity to split from your partnership. The little conversations that appear between the girls, as you try to temp them into a partnership, are mini-masterpieces of cheesy, double-entendre laden dialogue.

Special mention should really go to the soundtrack, which is pure bouncy pop-schlock and brilliantly sets the tone. Tecmo has licensed a hugely catchy selection of tunes, from such masters of cheesy pop including B*witched, Baha Men, The Beach Boys, even the Spice Girls. You might cringe to read it, but you have no idea how well it works in the general camp environment of the game. Of course, you can also substitute the soundtrack for some progressive trance if you're so inclined.

In short, DOAX is a hugely compelling experience. Worryingly compelling infact -- and this coming from a DOAX skeptic. Highly recommended!